"What Do You Really Want?"

"What do you really want?" ... This was the recurring question that kept flashing in my mind this morning - sovereignly placed there, i believe, by the Holy Spirit. And that was my "burden" this morning as i thought within myself what is it - after all has been said and done - that i really want.

So, after some deliberate and honest pondering, this is what i came up with ...

"I want to be a man who truly knows, loves, and serves God:

A man after God's own heart -

One who sincerely loves and is devoted to God and His Word;

One who is captivated by His love and glory;

One who knows and understands His call;

One who is driven by His purpose;

One who is compelled by His love -

serving God by loving others with His love

and nurturing them in the faith through His Word."

Having come up with this, i've gotta confess that many questions also shrouded this heartfelt desire of mine ...

Whether or not i truly know, love, and serve God may be a big question mark -

but that's what i want;

Whether or not i sincerely love God and am devoted to His Word may be a big question mark -

but that's what i want;

Whether i truly know and understand God's call for my life may be a big question mark -

but that's what i want;

Whether i'm a man driven by God's purpose may be a big question mark -

but that's what i want;

Whether i'm one who is compelled by God's love may be a big question mark -

but that's what i want;

Whether i'm serving God by loving others and nurturing them in His Word may be a big question mark -

but that's what i want.

So many questions, so many doubts, so many concerns .... but in spite of all these uncertainties, there's one thing that i'm sure of:

This is what i really want!!!

"O Lord, make me such a man - one who serves and fulfills Your purpose in my lifetime!!!"

"On Sin and Dog's Pooh"

Imagine with me ... It is 4am in the morning and you wake up to go to the toilet. You step out of your room and at your second step out of the room ... "squish". It is dark ... but you realize you have stepped on something that shouldn't be there - dog's pooh. Yikes!!! :(

*******

Yes, in case you are wondering, that was exactly what happened to me just last night - the very first time i came into physical contact with pooh of any kind (well, as far as i can remember anyway)!!! Oh, how gross the feeling!!! To recap (and pardon the explicitness of it all) ... First came the soft, warm and sinking sensation as my toes 'submerged' into one of the few brown lifeless lumps ... then came the slight stench to confirm my momentary fears of what i might have stepped on. Ooh, the wonders of the sense of touch and smell!!! "SCOOTER!!!" my mind echoed in protest ... but he was nowhere to be found; probably hiding in my sister's room, soundly asleep!!! Oh well, guess that's part and parcel of having a dog at home. :)

Anyway, i did what i believe most of us would do (at least in our sane moments) ... i ran straight into the bathroom and started washing away the unwanted stain off my left foot. Yes, i was determined to get that yucky thing off my foot as soon as i could!!! Oh, you should have seen my utter eagerness to rid myself of that stain!!! Yucks!!! (*Gotta confess that even now i can still 'feel' that sensation as my toes slid into Scooter's excretion!!! Urggh!!!) :P

On hindsight, this incident somehow taught me a spiritual lesson. As human beings (and in the right frame of mind), we would be quick and wise enough to rid ourselves of any 'foreign' thing that we know shouldn't be on our body (in this instance, dog's pooh); however, the question that came to me was how quick are we, as born-again Christians, to deal with sin in our lives? Oh, if we would be quick to rid ourselves of dog's pooh on our feet, how quick would we be to rid ourselves of its spiritual equivalent - namely, sin? Oh, far be it from us to cherish sin in our lives (which, sometimes - oddly enough - we are guilty of)!!! Think of it: Cherishing sin can be likened to us loving to have dog's pooh left smeared on our body!!! How absurd the thought!!! But oh, how sometimes we fail to see it as such!!! May God grant us eyes to see sin as it really is - a deadly posion coated with sugar to entice us or, for that matter, dog's pooh decorated with eye-catching and exotic flowers to attract us!!! Oh, the surpassing sinfulness of sin and the exceeding execrableness of excretion!!! Oh well, i trust you get the idea!!! :P

O Lord, please help me view sin the way it really is - that is, a spiritual equivalent of dog's pooh (or even better, to view it as something much more abhorrent, detestable, and absolutely disgusting)!!! Oh, let me be ever so quick and vigilant to deal with sin in my life and not let it fester. Let me not be so hardened, blinded or deceived that i foolishly cherish sin in my heart!!! Let me do what i did with Scooter's misplaced pooh - that is, get rid of it at the first instance!!! Help me to always say no to sin but yes to righteousness!!! Amen!!! :)

"In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin

but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body

so that you obey its evil desires.

Do not offer the parts of your body to sin,

as instruments of wickedness,

but rather offer yourselves to God,

as those who have been brought from death to life;

and offer the parts of your body to Him

as instruments of righteousness.

For sin shall not be your master,

because you are not under law,

but under grace."

- Romans 6: 11-14

"A 'Dogged' Audacity"

I was sitting in my living room relaxing when all of a sudden, Scooter (my family's pet dog) came running towards me with its tail wagging incessantly, circled around the chair i was slumped upon, looked up at me, and then, as if out of great familarity, leapt onto my lap and made himself comfortable (see picture above taken by my sister). Oh, the audacity of this little thing - making himself comfortable on my lap!!! :)

This very simple audacious act of Scooter provoked a question in my heart as i reflected on the incident. The question that came to my mind was this - "How confident are we, as Christians, in our approach to our heavenly Father?" Do we come to Him with absolute confidence (like little Scooter did to me) and, may i use the term, "reverential audacity"? Do we make ourselves comfortable in His awesome presence, snuggling up beside Him and into His embrace (albeit with reverence)? Or are we approaching God from a distance and with tremendous caution?

Then the revelation came ... Oh, what a privilege that the way has been made for us Christians to access the very presence of our heavenly Father, the Creator of the universe, without fear or apprehension, but with absolute confidence and full assurance of faith!!! All this only made possible by the finished work of our Lord Jesus Christ on the Cross of Calvary, Golgotha, and our faith in Him and His great redemptive work.

Indeed, through Jesus, the way has been miraculously paved for us sinners to approach a holy, righteous and just God - something quite unthinkable apart from our divine Mediator and His great redemptive and reconciliatory work!!! His very words, "It is finished", as He hung on the Cross, giving up His Spirit, and the historical event of the immediate tearing of the curtain in the Temple from top to bottom signalled the acceptance of the one and only (and once-and-for-all) perfect sacrifice of the perfect God-man Jesus Christ by God the Father for our sins - and, more than that, depicted the free access to God now granted to us because of the atoning work of our Lord Jesus Christ for our sins. No longer do we need a priest to go behind the curtain to the Holy of Holies to approach God on our behalf; we ourselves have been made priests!!! Talk about spell-bounding miracles and endless grace!!! We now have free access to God on the basis of what Christ has done for us - His great substitutionary work on the Cross (to me, the most significant event in all of human history). By His obedient and substitutionary work on the Cross, we sinners have now been declared righteous (and made clean) by faith in His blood - and, as such, we can now boldly approach our heavenly Father - personally, intimately, and confidently. Simply awesome!!! Simply amazing!!!

Oh, let us thank God for His amazing grace in that while we were still undeserving sinners, He initiated this great redemptive plan to reconcile us to Himself through faith in the blood of His Son Jesus Christ. Oh, what love this is!!! How amazing, how divine!!! Let us take heart and understand, at a deeper level, the signifincance of this central historical event - namely, the atoning work of Christ on the Cross - and approach God with a holy and reverential confidence and in full assurance of faith - for the way has been paved for us by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!! Blessed be the name of our Lord!!! :)

"Therefore, brothers,

since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place

by the blood of Jesus,

by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body,

and since we have a great priest over the house of God,

let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith,

having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience

and having our bodies washed with pure water.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,

for he who promised is faithful."

- Hebrews 10: 19-23

"Motherly Instincts"

This is in tribute to my beloved mum ...

Oh, the beauty of motherly instincts that God seems to have placed inherently within mums was made manifest recently - just 2 days ago to be precise. Allow me to recount the incident ...

Just only about 6 hours prior, my family and i (pictured above - including Joy and my brother's girlfriend) were having a great time feasting - in an early celebration of my dad's 62nd birthday. Gotta say that the Japanese seafood buffet was simply glorious!!! Oh, the wide array of awesome food in front of us; we were simply spoilt for choice!!! What a sumptuous meal we had!!! Add to that the company of your loved ones - and you couldn't ask for more!!! :)

Fast-forward 6 hours, at about 1:30am ... i was asleep when i was suddenly awakened by a deep sense of discomfort. I tried fighting it off for about 15 minutes but to no avail. Giving up, i sat up from my bed and discovered that i had indigestion (i think) - the nauseousness, the 'weak' feeling and all. Oh, how i dread that sickening feeling!!! I hate it big time!!! You know, the discomfort and all. Not the best thing to have while only on my second day of holiday in Singapore!!! :(

After sitting there dazed for a while, i grabbed a nearby G2000 plastic bag - just in case. On hindsight, i'm glad i did ... 'cos in the space of a mere 2 minutes, i was utilizing that bag big time!!! Yes, in case you're still wondering, i was vomitting my great exploits during the lovely dinner i had barely 6 hours ago. Oh, the glorious food ... all returning to that plastic bag albeit in a different form!!! Such a waste!!! :(

The vomitting lasted for about 5 minutes or so ... and as i was vomitting, i somehow recalled my childhood days. I remember rather vividly how, as a little boy, when i was unwell (e.g. stomachache or indigestion), i would go to my parents room to seek "parental" help. And yes, i also remember the times where my mother would always be by my side to "help" me through it. Oh, the memories; they just seem like yesterday!!!

That was then ... but being an adult now, disturbing my parents was the last thing on my mind. So, i continued doing what i needed manfully to do - vomit!!! Haha. :P

And it was then that my mum suddenly appeared from her room ... obviously awoken by the noise my vomitting made. And when she stepped into my room to be beside me, it was then that i experienced a sense of deja-vu. Oh, it was like a re-enactment - a rolling back of the years. Her comforting hand stroking my back in bid to comfort me and her tender voice assuring me as i continued vomitting into the now-heavier-than-ever bag. :)

This simple act of love brought back (tangibly) memories of old ... and not just that, it also reminded me of the great love of a great mother. Oh, thank God for the motherly instincts He has somehow placed within them!!! The tender-loving care of a mother to her child was made manifest with the appearance of my mum beside me in my time of "distress"!!! What made it all the more impacting was the fact that as i was recalling my childhood days while i was vomitting (fancy me to do that! In fact, i was also praying that the rest would be okay!!!), i was also thinking if anyone in the family would come to my aid first, who it would be ... and the answer in my mind was, undoubtedly, my mum!!! And, yes, i was spot on - she appeared not long after i had that thought!!! Oh, how i thank God for my amazing mum!!! Gotta confess that her presence did make a world of a difference to me (although i felt bad for waking her up)!!! :)

Looking back, i thank God that i have since recovered from the indigestion (and back to my eating best once again)!!! [Oh, you won't want to be ill during your holidays in a land where food is cheap and good!!!] But a more important lesson unfolded - namely, the amazing love of a mum who hears (and feels) the slightest 'afflictions' of her beloved child. Oh, how i thank God for my mum!!! How i love my mum (although i don't always make it known verbally to her)!!! She's simply the best!!! :)

This verse in Isaiah seems to portray what i'm trying to say ... "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" (Isaiah 49: 15). Implied in this verse is the inherent care that mothers have toward their children - placed there by God (i believe) - thus the somewhat rhetorical question in verse 15. But this verse speaks much more than that; it ultimately points us to someone far greater - God. It utilizes the human imagery of the intricate care and compassion a mother has for her young to add greater weight and force to what God is like towards us. The analogy goes something like this: Even if our mothers may forget us (which, by itself, is a highly unlikely thing), God will never ever forget us!!! Oh, such is the eternal and unfailing love of our heavenly Father towards His children!!! What blessed assurance it ought give our hearts - knowing that the love and care of God is far greater than the love and care that even the best mother can give!!!

Let's take heart in (and thank God for) the amazing love of our mothers (and give them the due honor they deserve) ... and, more than that, let us rest fully assured in the eternal and unfailing love of God (and let it bring forth songs of worship and adoration from the deepest recesses of our hearts!). Amen. :)

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons,

neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,

neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us from the love of God

that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

- Romans 8: 38-39

"Lessons from a Toddler's Outstretched Arms"

The Incident:
Looking back, it's amazing how as i was making "funny" faces (as most adults do when face-to-face with toddlers - especially cute ones) to Kristabel (Joy's cute 1-year 8-month-old niece - pictured above), she - whilst comfortably tucked away in her mother's arms - suddenly leaned her little body toward me, gave me a cute "i want you / please carry me"-look (accompanied by a wry smile), and stretched forth both arms towards me - as if in earnest for me to carry her!!! I duly obliged ... I mean, how could i ever refuse? (Oh, you should have seen the look on her face and her demeanor!!!) :) Awww ... sooooo sweet!!! Sooooo cute!!! Gotta confess i felt real good there and then ... and my heart sorta melted - cute little girl that she is!!! :P [*Note: The amazing thing is that i've only met her not too many days ago!!! Even her mum seemed perplexed by her 'unusual' response!!!]

The Lesson:
On a more spiritual note, imagine with me how pleased our heavenly Father would be if we, His precious little children, would but (like little Kristabel) stretch forth our arms toward Him - longing for His touch, yearning for His embrace, and desiring for His presence. Oh, what great joy and delight that would bring to our dearest Lord and King!!! What a blessing it must be for our Lord to see His little ones clamoring after His very presence and intimate embrace - desirous to be enveloped in His loving arms!!! I mean, which earthly father would not love to have his little ones yearn for his embrace? Oh, the wonders of outstretched arms towards our heavenly Father!!! I can even picture the smile that would appear on the countenance of our blessed Lord if we would but come before Him with such child-like yearning and earnestness!!!

Shall we, like little children, stretch forth our arms towards our heavenly Father, and yearn for His intimate touch? Why not do it this very moment - right now, right where you are? Tell Him how much you want Him, long for Him, yearn for Him, and are in absolute earnest for Him!!! :)

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me,

and do not hinder them,

for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

- Matthew 19: 14

"Of Lushy Leaves and Thin Twigs"

Was spending time with God yesterday morning when God brought to my attention a small tree outside my window - a tree that i had never taken notice of (of any significant detail anyway). It was not so much the tree that God brought my attention to; rather, it was a particular part of the tree that my gaze fell upon - namely, that of a branch with green, lushy leaves that shone under the morning sun. However, that was not all ... on that same green lushy branch hung a dangling twig - a dry, withered, and lifeless twig. It seemed as if it had somehow been broken off the branch - albeit still dangling from it. But the contrast spoke volumes ...

And it was to this contrast that my attention was arrested and my eyes fixated. There and then, God spoke to me through this unique picture of the green lushy leaves and the thin dry twigs. It sorta reminded me of the immense importance of us abiding in Him and He in us - for He is the source of our spiritual life and vitality; nothing and no one else will suffice. John 15: 1-8 immdiately sprang to mind ... and the question that popped in my mind was this: Do we want to be like the thriving green lushy leaves that sparkled under the morning sun (signifying health and life), or do we want to be like the dead, withered and dry twig that dangled lifelessly at the end of the branch (signifying lifelessness and death)? Are we abiding in Him in a living, thriving, vibrant relationship?

Oh, how i want to be so vitally connected to and be in intimate union with God every single moment, drawing that strength and sap of life from Him (and that only He can give) so that i may thrive - and be like that green lushy leaves, sparkling under the bright morning sun and teeming with vibrant life!!! And my prayer is that each of us, as precious children of God, would resolve deep within our very hearts to remain rooted in Him, and to abide in Him and His Word - that we may never go dry like that lifeless dangling twig - but remain refreshed daily in Him, by Him, and through Him - brimming forth with the life that only God can give!!!

O Lord, impress the words in and truth of John 15: 1-8 deeper than ever into my heart ... and help me to continually abide in You, the true vine - and never ever neglect that vital communion with You. Oh, draw me so ever deeper in love with You and in Your presence - for there i know i can find peace in the midst of turmoil, joy in the wave of gloom, comfort in the wake of sadness, courage in the shadow of fear, faith in the valley of doubt, and strength in the face of weakness.

Oh, how blessed it is to be in Your presence - for there i find fullness of joy and life abundantly!!! Oh, let me be like that thriving green lushy leaves, bearing fruit and giving life to all who come near!!! Amen.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,

whose confidence is in Him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit."

- Jeremiah 17: 7-8

"The Unfathomable, Incomprehensible, and Infinite Love of God"

Haha ... a mini-revival to my previously dormant blog (a whopping one year and two months of silence to be precise - that is, since 21st July 2007!!!)? Well, we shall see ... and only time will tell ... hehe. :P

Anyway, just felt inspired to drop a short, simple, but heartfelt post of what God has been showing me recently - namely, the amazing love of God that goes beyond my wildest imagination and comprehension ... (funny how God does it - that is, by reminding me through everyday human means - specifically, via my relationship with Joy.)

I shall unabashedly state at the outset how blessed i am to be loved by Joy - especially in the light of my countless weaknesses and failings, etc. Oh, only God and myself (and to a certain extent, Joy), knows how frail, weak, feeble, and wretched a person i am. And each time i think of it, i can only thank God for His grace in my life - and, for this particular instance, my relationship with the one whom i love, treasure and cherish. Let me elaborate ...

Almost always ... when i ponder about my relationship with Joy, the question of how can she love me - an ordinary and plain man full of weaknesses, flaws and failings - never fails to surface to my mind ... to which i've got no answer - no, none at all - but simply a heart filled with deep gratitude to Joy for choosing to love me in spite of who i am ... and, at a deeper level, the grace of God that made it all possible. Up till now, i've still got no idea as to why this is so ... and all i can do is to simply thank God for His grace shining through Joy ... as well as that of Joy's grace, patience, and love to me!!! [*PS: On a personal note, thanks Joy!!! I'm honestly amazed - even perplexed - each time i think of that!!! Thanks for bearing with me and loving me in spite of my many weaknesses!!! Love you heaps!!!] :)

Well, to get back on track (apologies for the mini detour!!!) ... Anyway, each time that happens, the Holy Spirit inevitably never fails to prompt me to think a little further ... sorta like an a fortiori train of thought (that is, an argument from the lesser to the greater) - namely, if that's the case of Joy's love to me, then how much more amazing is that of God's unconditional and unfailing love to me!!! Words simply cannot express how incomprehensible this is (well, to me anyway) - namely, how One so great (holy, perfect, infinite) can love one so small (sinful, imperfect, finite)!!! Joy's love to me (and i cannot thank God enough for that!) is but a mere glimpse of the gracious love God has for me and towards me!!! And if Joy's love (a human love) to me is already beyond my intellectual grasp, how much more is God's (a divine and perfect love)!!! I guess God, through Joy, has been encouraging me to ponder and try to grasp, in an ever-increasing and deepening measure, the incomprensible extent of His amazing and infinite love to me!!! (I know this sounds paradoxical ... but yeah, you know what i mean!!)

Little wonder John wrote in his first epistle - "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3: 1). Indeed, the love of God is great - and beyond all earthly comprehension!!! Oh, such love ... such grace ... such mercy that sent my Lord Jesus Christ to the Cross of Calvary as my substitute, as a propitiatory sacrifice - taking my place, my cross, my sin, my pain, my shame, and my death!!! Oh, how unfathomable God's love is - in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5: 8)!!! Oh, what other response should it elicit from us other than a heartfelt and spontaneous worship and adoration!!!

Thank You Lord for Your amazing love!!! Thank You for Your grace so free ... and Your mercies which are new every morning!!! Thank You Lord for showing me a glimpse of this amazing love of Your's through my dearest and much loved Joy!!! Thank You for her life ... thank You for bringing us together!!! Thank You for speaking to me and reminding me about Your infinite love for me through her!!! Oh, my humble prayer is that i may continue to grow more and more in grasping together with the saints how wide and long and high and deep is this amazing love of Yours!!! Oh, please help me comprehend and perceive, in a deeper way, this amazing and infinite love of Yours, O Lord!!! Make me ever true to You - both now and evermore!!! In Your great Name, Amen!!! :)